The 300th
by Michael C. Keith
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: None.
Description: Good story ideas are not easy to come by, especially after 300.
_____________________________________________________________________
[S]he was between stories, and [s]he felt despicable. – Raymond Carver
Caitlin Holder was unable to come up with a fresh idea for what would be her 300th piece of short fiction, so she scanned her story idea file in the hope of finding something that she could expand into a new tale. The following are plot sketches from which she could choose:
~ ~ ~
Title: “A Nuclear Family” –– Scenario: Family concerned about potential contamination from nearby nuclear power plant moves to remote location only to discover it has bought property only a few miles from a toxic waste dump . . .
Title: “B&W” –– Scenario: Louis Cormier finds escape in his dreams wherein all humans are of one color and racial hatred does not exist. When a Jewish family moves in next-door, he puts his house up for sale . . .
Title: “Black Hole” –– Scenario: Scientist Carson Perrault stumbles onto a chemical formula that changes hard objects in soft ones. When he drops some into his lap, his life is suddenly changed . . .
Title: “Blue Bungalow” –– Scenario: Jason Kreb’s beloved wife passes away and he is left to mourn in the tiny house they had lived in for 30 years. One day he comes across a love letter she had written to someone he didn’t know. He sets out to find this person . . .
Title: “Carrion Baggage” –– Scenario: After seven tries, Eric Potter lands the elusive Almaco Jack off the coast of Jamaica. He carries the prized catch in a small ice chest on board his return flight. The plane is delayed several hours and the ice melts causing the fish to give off a strong odor. Passengers begin to react . . .
Title: “Coastal Flooding” –– Scenario: Accelerated global warming causes oceans to rise and flow inland, creating beaches in eastern Ohio and western Nevada . . .
Title: “Do Not Look Down On Me Dead” –– Scenario: A terminally ill man engages in a conversation with his wife about how he wants to be displayed at his wake. His unusual request shocks and upsets her . . .
Title: “Double Trouble” –– Scenario: Felix Dopperman has a non-existing libido so purchases a robot to service his sexually voracious wife. She falls in love with the substitute lover . . .
Title: “Fun at Farley’s” –– Scenario: A convalescent home director realizes his clients are dying off and not being replaced. Concludes he needs to keep them alive to remain in business, so he implements an exercise program that has disastrous results . . .
Title: “His Last Happy Day” –– Scenario: Man recounts the blissful 24 hours leading up to his fatal diagnosis. Decides to relive it everyday until he dies . . .
Title: “Inside Twilight” –– Scenario: Earth’s rotation slows causing a change in the length of daylight around the world. Population shifts as people escape longer nights in favor of longer days . . .
Title: “It’s Not Unusual” –– Scenario: The pain in his dorsal limb reminds Cepic Duq that it will soon detach from his body requiring his return to the renewal incubator. Before this occurs, he must consummate his marriage vows . . .
Title: “Jihadma” –– Scenario: Upset by Muslim extremists’ acts, Benton Manley builds explosives containing red, white, and blue confetti that he plans to detonate at Islamic mosques . . .
Title: “Landing on the Sun” –– Scenario: Of all the get-rich-quick schemes Paul Gasman has come up with, his friends think his latest is the most ridiculous by far . . .
Title: “Dead Reckoning” –– Scenario: A long missing burial site containing the body of a prominent historical figure is found. The town sees the discovery as a way of profiting from tourism, but the deceased person’s descendants wish to relocate his remains . . .
Title: “Man’s Best Friend” –– Scenario: A lonely man’s Golden Retriever begins to show aging as white whiskers appear on its snout. This disturbs him to the extent that he dyes the dog’s facial fur. Unsettling consequences result . . .
Title: “Money to Die For” –– Scenario: The state lotto is about to go bust due to bad management resulting in too many winners. It decides to knock off its yearly payoff prizewinners in order to remain afloat . . .
Title: “Nowhere Woman” –– Scenario: Gale Caulkin’s massive insecurities cause her to do foolish, if not outlandish, things . . .
Title: “Painless” –– Scenario: Man has affliction that keeps him from feeling pain, so he decides to exploit his condition for profit. Bizarre results cause mayhem for him and his family . . .
Title: “Thump, Thump” –– Scenario: As a young boy, Quinn Silva discovers that when he listens to people’s heartbeats with his toy stethoscope he can see their future . . .
Title: “Flesh” –– Scenario: Man that has fixation on a swimsuit model is devastated when he notices she has a tattoo covering the upper part of her left thigh. He kidnaps her in order to remove it only to discover the ink was temporary . . .
Title: “Slidin’ Into Dyin’” –– Scenario: Longtime country music singer Scarlet Hart has her first hit song just as she is told she has a disease that will end her life . . .
Title: “Special Delivery” –– Scenario: Father of a child killed by drunk driver decides on method of revenge when court frees man. Places venomous snake in culprit’s mailbox, but things don’t go as distraught parent planned . . .
Title: “Wheel of Misfortune” –– Scenario: After 30 years on a successful television game show, the host can no longer cope with the numbing routine of his job. Decides to sabotage program to relieve his boredom . . .
Title: “Tsunami Mommy” –– Scenario: In response to Tiger Mom’s Draconian approach to child rearing, a mother writes book that posits the view that chaos and lack of discipline is best way to raise children . . .
Title: “The Angry Dead” –– Scenario: The deceased come back to put a better spin on the bad image that films and books have given them. They hire a PR person, who turns out to be wildly incompetent . . .
Title: “Taking the Leap” –– Scenario: Chuck Fisher concludes that there isn’t a really good or fitting way to leave this world when people decide to do themselves in. He decides to build a luxurious hotel atop a high cliff on a remote South Pacific island to give those interested in ending life a better alternative to the conventional methods of suicide . . .
Title: “The Insinuator” –– Scenario: Thirteen year-old Davy White discovers he can enter peoples’ dreams and change their outcomes. When he finds that his would-be girlfriend dreams of another boy, he uses his exceptional ability to his advantage . . .
Title: “The Pass Through” –– Scenario: Discovery of a habitable sister planet by NASA astronomers launches a future probe. Astronauts that travel to what is called Tess 1 find that all of Earth’s dead have been reanimated on the planet . . .
Title: “The Simoniac” –– Scenario: Buying and selling sacred and spiritual objects gets Clare Marie into hot water. She buys a small figurine said to be from an extinct culture only to find it is anything but extinct . . .
~ ~ ~
“Damn, there’s nothing much worth writing about here,” sighed Caitlin.
And then a new idea struck her . . .
Swearwords: None.
Description: Good story ideas are not easy to come by, especially after 300.
_____________________________________________________________________
[S]he was between stories, and [s]he felt despicable. – Raymond Carver
Caitlin Holder was unable to come up with a fresh idea for what would be her 300th piece of short fiction, so she scanned her story idea file in the hope of finding something that she could expand into a new tale. The following are plot sketches from which she could choose:
~ ~ ~
Title: “A Nuclear Family” –– Scenario: Family concerned about potential contamination from nearby nuclear power plant moves to remote location only to discover it has bought property only a few miles from a toxic waste dump . . .
Title: “B&W” –– Scenario: Louis Cormier finds escape in his dreams wherein all humans are of one color and racial hatred does not exist. When a Jewish family moves in next-door, he puts his house up for sale . . .
Title: “Black Hole” –– Scenario: Scientist Carson Perrault stumbles onto a chemical formula that changes hard objects in soft ones. When he drops some into his lap, his life is suddenly changed . . .
Title: “Blue Bungalow” –– Scenario: Jason Kreb’s beloved wife passes away and he is left to mourn in the tiny house they had lived in for 30 years. One day he comes across a love letter she had written to someone he didn’t know. He sets out to find this person . . .
Title: “Carrion Baggage” –– Scenario: After seven tries, Eric Potter lands the elusive Almaco Jack off the coast of Jamaica. He carries the prized catch in a small ice chest on board his return flight. The plane is delayed several hours and the ice melts causing the fish to give off a strong odor. Passengers begin to react . . .
Title: “Coastal Flooding” –– Scenario: Accelerated global warming causes oceans to rise and flow inland, creating beaches in eastern Ohio and western Nevada . . .
Title: “Do Not Look Down On Me Dead” –– Scenario: A terminally ill man engages in a conversation with his wife about how he wants to be displayed at his wake. His unusual request shocks and upsets her . . .
Title: “Double Trouble” –– Scenario: Felix Dopperman has a non-existing libido so purchases a robot to service his sexually voracious wife. She falls in love with the substitute lover . . .
Title: “Fun at Farley’s” –– Scenario: A convalescent home director realizes his clients are dying off and not being replaced. Concludes he needs to keep them alive to remain in business, so he implements an exercise program that has disastrous results . . .
Title: “His Last Happy Day” –– Scenario: Man recounts the blissful 24 hours leading up to his fatal diagnosis. Decides to relive it everyday until he dies . . .
Title: “Inside Twilight” –– Scenario: Earth’s rotation slows causing a change in the length of daylight around the world. Population shifts as people escape longer nights in favor of longer days . . .
Title: “It’s Not Unusual” –– Scenario: The pain in his dorsal limb reminds Cepic Duq that it will soon detach from his body requiring his return to the renewal incubator. Before this occurs, he must consummate his marriage vows . . .
Title: “Jihadma” –– Scenario: Upset by Muslim extremists’ acts, Benton Manley builds explosives containing red, white, and blue confetti that he plans to detonate at Islamic mosques . . .
Title: “Landing on the Sun” –– Scenario: Of all the get-rich-quick schemes Paul Gasman has come up with, his friends think his latest is the most ridiculous by far . . .
Title: “Dead Reckoning” –– Scenario: A long missing burial site containing the body of a prominent historical figure is found. The town sees the discovery as a way of profiting from tourism, but the deceased person’s descendants wish to relocate his remains . . .
Title: “Man’s Best Friend” –– Scenario: A lonely man’s Golden Retriever begins to show aging as white whiskers appear on its snout. This disturbs him to the extent that he dyes the dog’s facial fur. Unsettling consequences result . . .
Title: “Money to Die For” –– Scenario: The state lotto is about to go bust due to bad management resulting in too many winners. It decides to knock off its yearly payoff prizewinners in order to remain afloat . . .
Title: “Nowhere Woman” –– Scenario: Gale Caulkin’s massive insecurities cause her to do foolish, if not outlandish, things . . .
Title: “Painless” –– Scenario: Man has affliction that keeps him from feeling pain, so he decides to exploit his condition for profit. Bizarre results cause mayhem for him and his family . . .
Title: “Thump, Thump” –– Scenario: As a young boy, Quinn Silva discovers that when he listens to people’s heartbeats with his toy stethoscope he can see their future . . .
Title: “Flesh” –– Scenario: Man that has fixation on a swimsuit model is devastated when he notices she has a tattoo covering the upper part of her left thigh. He kidnaps her in order to remove it only to discover the ink was temporary . . .
Title: “Slidin’ Into Dyin’” –– Scenario: Longtime country music singer Scarlet Hart has her first hit song just as she is told she has a disease that will end her life . . .
Title: “Special Delivery” –– Scenario: Father of a child killed by drunk driver decides on method of revenge when court frees man. Places venomous snake in culprit’s mailbox, but things don’t go as distraught parent planned . . .
Title: “Wheel of Misfortune” –– Scenario: After 30 years on a successful television game show, the host can no longer cope with the numbing routine of his job. Decides to sabotage program to relieve his boredom . . .
Title: “Tsunami Mommy” –– Scenario: In response to Tiger Mom’s Draconian approach to child rearing, a mother writes book that posits the view that chaos and lack of discipline is best way to raise children . . .
Title: “The Angry Dead” –– Scenario: The deceased come back to put a better spin on the bad image that films and books have given them. They hire a PR person, who turns out to be wildly incompetent . . .
Title: “Taking the Leap” –– Scenario: Chuck Fisher concludes that there isn’t a really good or fitting way to leave this world when people decide to do themselves in. He decides to build a luxurious hotel atop a high cliff on a remote South Pacific island to give those interested in ending life a better alternative to the conventional methods of suicide . . .
Title: “The Insinuator” –– Scenario: Thirteen year-old Davy White discovers he can enter peoples’ dreams and change their outcomes. When he finds that his would-be girlfriend dreams of another boy, he uses his exceptional ability to his advantage . . .
Title: “The Pass Through” –– Scenario: Discovery of a habitable sister planet by NASA astronomers launches a future probe. Astronauts that travel to what is called Tess 1 find that all of Earth’s dead have been reanimated on the planet . . .
Title: “The Simoniac” –– Scenario: Buying and selling sacred and spiritual objects gets Clare Marie into hot water. She buys a small figurine said to be from an extinct culture only to find it is anything but extinct . . .
~ ~ ~
“Damn, there’s nothing much worth writing about here,” sighed Caitlin.
And then a new idea struck her . . .
About the Author
Originally from Albany, New York, Michael C. Keith has paternal family roots stretching back to Clan Keith of Caithness and Aberdeenshire. A leading scholar in electronic media in the United States, he is the author of over 20 books on electronic media, as well as a memoir and three books of fiction. Much more about Michael and his publications can be found on his website: http://www.michaelckeith.com