Lost Apostrophe – the Diary of a Writing Group
by Rosalie Warren
Genre: Drama
Swearwords: None.
Description: EPISODE TWELVE: February 2015 – Rud
Swearwords: None.
Description: EPISODE TWELVE: February 2015 – Rud
Bettina Brand – love of my life. No, No. Not true. Or at least, not true yet.
Got a bit of a panicky feeling inside me today. It’s daft – no reason for it. It’s only cos I’ve not heard from her for a few days – no, it’s a week now, just over – after she sent a load of emails before that. No need to panic. She’d got other clients, quite a few of them if you look on her website. None that I’ve heard of – that were a bit disappointing, but it makes sense when I think about it. She hasn’t been in this game for long. Her clients are still on their way up. She spots someone she likes – whose work she likes, I mean – and she helps them get a publisher and then build up their career. She says she’s interested in authors with a whole career ahead of them. And she thinks that could be me.
Wish she’d just get in touch, though. A few things folk have said have got me a bit worried. Saw Julianne in the supermarket and she told me she knows people who’ve been, you know, accepted by agents, but they’ve then gone on to change their minds. Not my Bettina, I said to mysen – but afterwards, it got me thinking. What if she backs out? I mean, I’ve nowt from her in writing, not so far, only the emails, and she doesn’t promise anything for definite.
Wish I hadn’t made quite so much fuss about it now – telling people at the group, telling Mum. Mum’s told everyone she knows. She doesn’t get out any more, but she has that many visitors in a week – popular lady, me mum – and she’s told them all. It’s a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
Felt so bad, I cried off the meeting last night. Phoned Julianne and told her I had an headache. It weren’t a lie – but I never told her the reason for it – worry. If only I had Bettina’s phone number, I could give her a quick call or even just a text. I found a number on the agency website and called it, but I just got a girl – sounded about twelve – who said Bettina was out. Said to call back later, but I didn’t. Don’t want to pester. Don’t want to sound all needy or, worse still, like I’m stalking her or summat.
I’ll just have to be patient. After all, I haven’t sent in my revisions yet. There’s not much she can say until I’ve done that. I’ll have to have a proper think. It didn’t sound much when she said it at first, changing the ending, making it less ‘contrived’, but I really haven’t a clue where to start. Maybe someone at the group can help? I should have gone last night. I’ve already had a text from Eva, asking where I was. She’s a good mate, Eva. I’ve wondered once or twice if it might be a bit more than that – on her part, I mean. Hope not. Eva’s lovely but she’s not someone I could ever…
Nah, she’s not interested in me. If she wanted a boyfriend she could find a nice bloke from her church, I’m sure. She sees me as an unbeliever so she’d never be interested that way. Probably thinks I’m on the road to hell, if they still believe in that these days. Think they might, these pente-wotsit-ists. Maybe that’s why she’s kind to me – trying to convert me on the sly? Nah, she’s too upfront for that. Did ask me to church with her once but it were only to a drama performance by some kids. I enjoyed it, mind you. She’s brilliant with kids is Eva. Don’t know why she gave up teaching. Says she likes the playgroup but I bet it pays peanuts.
Maybe Eva can help me with Speedy? Help me think of a better way to end it. Perhaps I should phone her and ask. I’ll maybe wait a bit, just till I’ve heard back from Bettina. Oh God. Please, just a little message, anything. Just so I know she’s still… interested.
I know what I should really do – get started on summat new. That’s the way to go. That’ll loosen me up and get the ideas flowing again. I’ve tried, though, and I can’t. Frozen up inside.
Can’t help thinking it’d be better in some ways if Bettina were a frumpy old woman or even a bloke. Then there’d only be the book to think about, not whether she’s interested in me.
I’ll check my email before I go bed.
----------------------
Yay – result!! Message from Brand Agency. She loves me yeah yeah…. Well, no. Not exactly that. But she still wants Speedy. Any idea, she asks, when I might get the revisions in to her?
Not long, I’ve told her. No problem now. Unfrozen – all systems go. I’ll grab a few hours’ sleep and be up at five to put in a couple of hours before work.
God, the relief. What an idiot I am. Worrying that she’s changed her mind. All comes of low self-confidence, I know it does. All those years of failing at school. Time I started to believe in mysen. Well I do, in a way… but only up to a point. I believe I can write. Course I do – wouldn’t be sending stuff out, otherwise. The group’s helped me with that, telling me my stuff’s all right, that I should persevere. Eva, most of all.
Must get back to Eva, but it’s too late now. She’ll be fast asleep. Bettina too, probably – it’s gone one a.m. Question is, is she alone? Bettina, I mean. Hope to God she is. Woman like that, though – can’t see her not having a boyfriend. But even if she has… it’s not necessarily serious, is it?
Stop it, Rud. Get some bloody sleep.
Got a bit of a panicky feeling inside me today. It’s daft – no reason for it. It’s only cos I’ve not heard from her for a few days – no, it’s a week now, just over – after she sent a load of emails before that. No need to panic. She’d got other clients, quite a few of them if you look on her website. None that I’ve heard of – that were a bit disappointing, but it makes sense when I think about it. She hasn’t been in this game for long. Her clients are still on their way up. She spots someone she likes – whose work she likes, I mean – and she helps them get a publisher and then build up their career. She says she’s interested in authors with a whole career ahead of them. And she thinks that could be me.
Wish she’d just get in touch, though. A few things folk have said have got me a bit worried. Saw Julianne in the supermarket and she told me she knows people who’ve been, you know, accepted by agents, but they’ve then gone on to change their minds. Not my Bettina, I said to mysen – but afterwards, it got me thinking. What if she backs out? I mean, I’ve nowt from her in writing, not so far, only the emails, and she doesn’t promise anything for definite.
Wish I hadn’t made quite so much fuss about it now – telling people at the group, telling Mum. Mum’s told everyone she knows. She doesn’t get out any more, but she has that many visitors in a week – popular lady, me mum – and she’s told them all. It’s a bit embarrassing, to be honest.
Felt so bad, I cried off the meeting last night. Phoned Julianne and told her I had an headache. It weren’t a lie – but I never told her the reason for it – worry. If only I had Bettina’s phone number, I could give her a quick call or even just a text. I found a number on the agency website and called it, but I just got a girl – sounded about twelve – who said Bettina was out. Said to call back later, but I didn’t. Don’t want to pester. Don’t want to sound all needy or, worse still, like I’m stalking her or summat.
I’ll just have to be patient. After all, I haven’t sent in my revisions yet. There’s not much she can say until I’ve done that. I’ll have to have a proper think. It didn’t sound much when she said it at first, changing the ending, making it less ‘contrived’, but I really haven’t a clue where to start. Maybe someone at the group can help? I should have gone last night. I’ve already had a text from Eva, asking where I was. She’s a good mate, Eva. I’ve wondered once or twice if it might be a bit more than that – on her part, I mean. Hope not. Eva’s lovely but she’s not someone I could ever…
Nah, she’s not interested in me. If she wanted a boyfriend she could find a nice bloke from her church, I’m sure. She sees me as an unbeliever so she’d never be interested that way. Probably thinks I’m on the road to hell, if they still believe in that these days. Think they might, these pente-wotsit-ists. Maybe that’s why she’s kind to me – trying to convert me on the sly? Nah, she’s too upfront for that. Did ask me to church with her once but it were only to a drama performance by some kids. I enjoyed it, mind you. She’s brilliant with kids is Eva. Don’t know why she gave up teaching. Says she likes the playgroup but I bet it pays peanuts.
Maybe Eva can help me with Speedy? Help me think of a better way to end it. Perhaps I should phone her and ask. I’ll maybe wait a bit, just till I’ve heard back from Bettina. Oh God. Please, just a little message, anything. Just so I know she’s still… interested.
I know what I should really do – get started on summat new. That’s the way to go. That’ll loosen me up and get the ideas flowing again. I’ve tried, though, and I can’t. Frozen up inside.
Can’t help thinking it’d be better in some ways if Bettina were a frumpy old woman or even a bloke. Then there’d only be the book to think about, not whether she’s interested in me.
I’ll check my email before I go bed.
----------------------
Yay – result!! Message from Brand Agency. She loves me yeah yeah…. Well, no. Not exactly that. But she still wants Speedy. Any idea, she asks, when I might get the revisions in to her?
Not long, I’ve told her. No problem now. Unfrozen – all systems go. I’ll grab a few hours’ sleep and be up at five to put in a couple of hours before work.
God, the relief. What an idiot I am. Worrying that she’s changed her mind. All comes of low self-confidence, I know it does. All those years of failing at school. Time I started to believe in mysen. Well I do, in a way… but only up to a point. I believe I can write. Course I do – wouldn’t be sending stuff out, otherwise. The group’s helped me with that, telling me my stuff’s all right, that I should persevere. Eva, most of all.
Must get back to Eva, but it’s too late now. She’ll be fast asleep. Bettina too, probably – it’s gone one a.m. Question is, is she alone? Bettina, I mean. Hope to God she is. Woman like that, though – can’t see her not having a boyfriend. But even if she has… it’s not necessarily serious, is it?
Stop it, Rud. Get some bloody sleep.
About the Author
Rosalie Warren was once a university lecturer, specialising in Artificial Intelligence and Natural Language Processing. But her earliest love was books and stories, and since taking early retirement ten years ago she has been following her dream of writing and publishing. For details of her publications for adults and children, including science fiction and romantic suspense, see http://srg521.wix.com/mybooks and https://www.facebook.com/RosalieWarrenAuthor/
Rosalie has been an exile from Scotland for the past fourteen years, but still has many happy memories of the wonderful city of Edinburgh, where her children were born and raised, and of the equally amazing Dundee, where she worked for a further three years. Going back even further, she was born and brought up in Yorkshire, and regularly returns there to visit a seaside place not so very different from the town of Castlehaven in her serial.
Rosalie is also a qualified proofreader and editor and (under the name Sheila Glasbey) her editing services can be found at http://www.affordable-editing.com/
Rosalie has been an exile from Scotland for the past fourteen years, but still has many happy memories of the wonderful city of Edinburgh, where her children were born and raised, and of the equally amazing Dundee, where she worked for a further three years. Going back even further, she was born and brought up in Yorkshire, and regularly returns there to visit a seaside place not so very different from the town of Castlehaven in her serial.
Rosalie is also a qualified proofreader and editor and (under the name Sheila Glasbey) her editing services can be found at http://www.affordable-editing.com/