Sunset
by Angus Shoor Caan
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: None.
Description: Takin’ ri stres oot a’ flittin’.
_____________________________________________________________________
“Wull, a'm gled rat's ev'ry'hin'.”
“Me tae doll. Noo wi jeest need tae fun sumwhair tae pirrit aw.”
“A 'hink wu'll huv a wee cup a' tea afore makin' a stert oan ri unpackin' eh?”
“Aye, if rem removal men left is ony tea-bags. Jeezo, rem fullas kin shift mair rin furniture.”
“Ye kin say rat again.”
“Jeezo, rem fullas kin shi..........”
“.....A didnae mean fur ye tae say it aw ower again.”
“You pit ri kettle oan an' a'll fun is some sounds. Guid joab wi wrote oan aw rem boaxes.”
* * *
“Furst cup a' tea bey wursels in wur ain hoose.”
“A like ri sound a' rat. 'Wur ain hoose'. C'moan, let's make a stert oan rese boaxes.”
“Haud oan hen, pit rat knife doon. Gie mey yur haun', wu'r gin oot.”
“Whair tae?”
“Nivir mind. Gie mey yur haun'. Wait, mibbe better grab yur cardi, it gits coller roon' ris tum a' night.”
“Bir a waant tae make a stert, wi need tae fun stuff an' geroot e' aw ris clutter.”
“Plenty time fur rat, c'moan, wu'll bey late.”
“Whit fur?”
“Ri sunset.”
“Whit fur?”
“A'v gote ma reasons. Get yur cardi an' foley me.”
* * *
“My, rissis braw. A'm gled wi fun a hoose doon roon' ri front.”
“Bit fur rat big hoose rer wi ur doon ri front.”
“Aye.”
* * *
“D'ye ken aw rit's missin'?”
“Whit's rat darlin'?”
“Pink Floyd. Rissis a Pink Floyd moment fur shoor.”
“Rat's a guid shout doll. Sunsets wis invented fur Pink Floyd, eh?”
“Aye. A'm gled ye brung mey oot noo.”
“You an' me baith.”
* * *
“Whirri ye 'hinkin' aboot?”
“A'm 'hinkin' wi should mibbes uv emptied sum a' rem boaxes eftur aw doll.”
“How?”
“ 'Cos ren a'duv fun ma camcorder an' wi coulda saved rat sunset fur posterity. Mibbes pit a Floyd soundtrack tae it.”
“Rat widda bin nice. Bit wi couldnae a' done baith.”
“Aye. Rur'l bey urr sunsets, bit mibbes no' anurr wan lit rat wan. Rat wis special so it wis.”
“Special, aye.”
“ 'Sdork noo, let's get wursells hame.”
“A like ri sound e' rat tae. 'Get wursells hame'.”
“Rat wis ma reason fur howkin' ye oot here darlin'. So's a could say let's get wursells hame.”
“Yur an awfy ramantic sowel et hert int ye.”
“Rat's me doll. Bit listin here tae ris. A week, mibbes ten days an' wu'll no' need tae lea' ri hoose tae watch ri sunset so wu'll no'.”
“How's rat ren?”
“Ri sun's comin' roon' ris wye an' it'll shin bey settin' in wur front windae furra while.”
“Braw.”
* * *
“Right. Anurr cup a' tea an' wu'll git wire't in tae rese boaxes eh?”
“Haud oan.”
“Whit noo?”
“A'm makin' an executive decision here doll. Whit dae ye say wi oardur an Indian and furget ri unpackin' tae ri moarnin'? Rur's urr mair important 'hings wi should bey dain' in wur new hoose afore ony a' rat cairy oan. Whit d'ye say?”
“A like ri wye you 'hink. A 'hink rat's whye a taen up wi ye in ri furst place.”
“Braw.”
* * *
“Here. D'ye 'hink wu'll ever go an stye in Australia lit wi says wi wid?”
“Mibbes, aye. Birrit'l huv tae bey ri west coast.”
“How?”
“ 'Cos ri polis is eftur mey ev'rywhur else.”
“Naw, c'moan, telliz.”
“ 'Hink aboorit doll. Ri west coast is whair ye get ri best sunsets, an wi like a guid sunset so wi dae.”
“Aye. Y'ur right enuff so ye ur. C'moan, let's go an' try oot wur new bed eh?”
“Lead oan MacDuff, an' don't spare ri hoarses.”
Swearwords: None.
Description: Takin’ ri stres oot a’ flittin’.
_____________________________________________________________________
“Wull, a'm gled rat's ev'ry'hin'.”
“Me tae doll. Noo wi jeest need tae fun sumwhair tae pirrit aw.”
“A 'hink wu'll huv a wee cup a' tea afore makin' a stert oan ri unpackin' eh?”
“Aye, if rem removal men left is ony tea-bags. Jeezo, rem fullas kin shift mair rin furniture.”
“Ye kin say rat again.”
“Jeezo, rem fullas kin shi..........”
“.....A didnae mean fur ye tae say it aw ower again.”
“You pit ri kettle oan an' a'll fun is some sounds. Guid joab wi wrote oan aw rem boaxes.”
* * *
“Furst cup a' tea bey wursels in wur ain hoose.”
“A like ri sound a' rat. 'Wur ain hoose'. C'moan, let's make a stert oan rese boaxes.”
“Haud oan hen, pit rat knife doon. Gie mey yur haun', wu'r gin oot.”
“Whair tae?”
“Nivir mind. Gie mey yur haun'. Wait, mibbe better grab yur cardi, it gits coller roon' ris tum a' night.”
“Bir a waant tae make a stert, wi need tae fun stuff an' geroot e' aw ris clutter.”
“Plenty time fur rat, c'moan, wu'll bey late.”
“Whit fur?”
“Ri sunset.”
“Whit fur?”
“A'v gote ma reasons. Get yur cardi an' foley me.”
* * *
“My, rissis braw. A'm gled wi fun a hoose doon roon' ri front.”
“Bit fur rat big hoose rer wi ur doon ri front.”
“Aye.”
* * *
“D'ye ken aw rit's missin'?”
“Whit's rat darlin'?”
“Pink Floyd. Rissis a Pink Floyd moment fur shoor.”
“Rat's a guid shout doll. Sunsets wis invented fur Pink Floyd, eh?”
“Aye. A'm gled ye brung mey oot noo.”
“You an' me baith.”
* * *
“Whirri ye 'hinkin' aboot?”
“A'm 'hinkin' wi should mibbes uv emptied sum a' rem boaxes eftur aw doll.”
“How?”
“ 'Cos ren a'duv fun ma camcorder an' wi coulda saved rat sunset fur posterity. Mibbes pit a Floyd soundtrack tae it.”
“Rat widda bin nice. Bit wi couldnae a' done baith.”
“Aye. Rur'l bey urr sunsets, bit mibbes no' anurr wan lit rat wan. Rat wis special so it wis.”
“Special, aye.”
“ 'Sdork noo, let's get wursells hame.”
“A like ri sound e' rat tae. 'Get wursells hame'.”
“Rat wis ma reason fur howkin' ye oot here darlin'. So's a could say let's get wursells hame.”
“Yur an awfy ramantic sowel et hert int ye.”
“Rat's me doll. Bit listin here tae ris. A week, mibbes ten days an' wu'll no' need tae lea' ri hoose tae watch ri sunset so wu'll no'.”
“How's rat ren?”
“Ri sun's comin' roon' ris wye an' it'll shin bey settin' in wur front windae furra while.”
“Braw.”
* * *
“Right. Anurr cup a' tea an' wu'll git wire't in tae rese boaxes eh?”
“Haud oan.”
“Whit noo?”
“A'm makin' an executive decision here doll. Whit dae ye say wi oardur an Indian and furget ri unpackin' tae ri moarnin'? Rur's urr mair important 'hings wi should bey dain' in wur new hoose afore ony a' rat cairy oan. Whit d'ye say?”
“A like ri wye you 'hink. A 'hink rat's whye a taen up wi ye in ri furst place.”
“Braw.”
* * *
“Here. D'ye 'hink wu'll ever go an stye in Australia lit wi says wi wid?”
“Mibbes, aye. Birrit'l huv tae bey ri west coast.”
“How?”
“ 'Cos ri polis is eftur mey ev'rywhur else.”
“Naw, c'moan, telliz.”
“ 'Hink aboorit doll. Ri west coast is whair ye get ri best sunsets, an wi like a guid sunset so wi dae.”
“Aye. Y'ur right enuff so ye ur. C'moan, let's go an' try oot wur new bed eh?”
“Lead oan MacDuff, an' don't spare ri hoarses.”
About the Author
Angus Shoor Caan is in an ex-seaman and rail worker. Born and bred in Saltcoats, he returned to Scotland after many years in England and found the time to begin writing. He has a number of publications to his name, including Coont Thum and Tattie Zkowen's Perfect Days, both of which have been published by McStorytellers.