Phage
by Tom Greenwood
Genre: Horror/Supernatural
Swearwords: None.
Description: The tale of a vampire hunter with a difference.
_____________________________________________________________________
The door to the cell opened and the Laird of the castle entered.
“There are only two reasons people break into my castle,” he said to the prisoner. “The first is to kill me, yet you were not carrying any weapons. So I doubt that is the reason.”
“And what is the other?” the prisoner asked.
“Immortality.”
“I did not come looking for immortality, far from it.”
“Do not expect reverse psychology to work on me, I am far older and wiser than you.”
“Perhaps you are or perhaps you are not.”
“You carried no weapons, so why did you break into my castle?”
“Primarily I wanted to speak to you.”
“You wanted to speak to the vampire? So now you have my attention, what is it you wanted to say?”
“I know what causes your affliction.”
“I don’t care about what causes my affliction and I do not think of it as an affliction, I consider it a gift.”
“Does it not interest you? Do you not want to know what ails you?”
“It’s a virus, we know that.”
“No it is not a virus. Viruses are parasites, they cannot avoid being parasites, to reproduce they have to kill the host cell. What infects you is a symbiont, an organism that offers you immortality in return for a place to live. Viruses don’t work like that, well most don’t. But this isn’t a virus.”
“So it’s not a virus. So what?”
“I know its origin,” the prisoner replied.
“And you broke in here to tell me that. To tell me something I’m not interested in. You risked being my next meal for that? And I don’t consider it an affliction.”
The Laird stared at his prisoner and thought he understood. “You wanted me to share my gift with you, didn’t you? You thought I would be grateful for the information and would share my immortality with you.”
The prisoner shook his head. “And it is not reverse psychology. Believe me when I say, I am not interested in sharing your gift, as you call it. It is not a gift, it is an affliction.”
The Laird stared at his prisoner. “You know the deal I made with the government? I get blood delivered weekly, I promise never to leave my castle so as not to be tempted to drink from humans and not to create any more like me. But then I consider anyone who enters my castle unbidden fair game. So tell me why I should not drink your body dry?”
“First, I know that the deal was that you would not kill anyone at all, so I should be safe. Second, as I said, breaking in was the only way I could get to speak to you.”
“And you wanted to tell me what? That vampirism isn’t a virus it’s a what?”
“It’s a genetically engineered bacteria.”
“Now I know you are making this up, vampirism is older than genetic engineering. I am older than genetic engineering.”
“I didn’t explain who did the genetic engineering.”
“And who did? Aliens, I suppose? Or was it time-travellers?”
“Actually aliens did, and I am going to tell you how we know. You know the fossils on Mars?”
“What about them?”
“Well there wasn’t only fossilised material found, there were desiccated biological remains as well and amongst the alien cells were bacteria, the same bacteria that infest you.”
“Are you trying to tell me that ancient Martians were vampires?”
“We don’t believe they came from Mars.”
“So where did they come from?”
“We don’t know, we believe they were hiding on Mars and possibly Earth as well.”
“Hiding from what?”
“The bacteria that keeps you alive has very specific needs, in humans it requires blood, we suspect the same was true of these ancient aliens. They needed to kill in order to survive.”
“And?”
“And those they hunted became the hunters, they tracked them down to our Solar System and killed them. They killed the host organisms and left, but some of the bacteria survived on Earth and adapted to live here amongst, to what was it, alien life.”
“Your story is almost believable, but I do not believe a single word of it.”
“You yourself should know that it doesn’t matter if people believe something or not, if it is true, it is still true.”
The Laird stopped to think. “Even if this fairy story were true, what does it have to do with me?”
“Because I thought you should know. I thought you had the right to know what you are. You are an alien attempt at immortality gone wrong.”
“I know what I am. I am a vampire. I am immortal and I am not gone wrong.” He stared at his prisoner. “At least you didn’t come in here with a crucifix or a wooden stake. I’ll give you that.”
“No I came armed with a greater weapon.”
“If you say you came armed with the truth, then I will have to kill you,” the Laird replied. “But you know, I have not fed the natural way for so long. Stale blood that is no longer fit for donation is not the same as blood fresh from the body. Now I will feed. And I am mindful of my deal with the government, so I won’t kill you, at least not just yet.”
* * *
The prisoner lay weakened in the cell and wondered how long, how long before the vampire would visit again. He hoped it was before he died of hunger or thirst because then he could see.
The answer was two days.
The prisoner smiled as the Laird walked into the room, no longer the healthy and hearty individual of two days ago. “What is happening to me?” the vampire asked.
“In your hurry to feed, you never let me finish my story,” the prisoner said standing up. He put a hand against the cell wall to steady himself.
“So finish your story, before I finish you.”
“You see, I was once a vampire,” the prisoner said, “like you.”
“But you are not? I would have known, all vampires can recognise another instantly.”
“I was briefly infected on Mars, but only briefly, because the alien vampire hunters had a weapon.”
“And what was this weapon?”
“A phage.”
“A what?”
“A phage is a virus that infects bacteria. For three days I craved blood and then I stopped and I returned to normal. When I had become infected, I was also infected by the virus and it cured me, as it is curing you. When you fed on me, you ingested some of the virus as well.”
The Laird stared at the prisoner.
“You knew this would happen?”
“Only if you fed on me. You could have listened to my story and then let me leave. But I knew you would not.”
“And what will happen to me?”
“The virus will kill the symbiont, the same as what happened with me.”
“So why am I dying?”
“Because you should have died two hundred years ago, it is just nature catching up and now I must leave.” The prisoner shoved the vampire to one side.
The Laird tried to stop himself from falling over but he was too weak. “No…” he screamed. He tried to grab the prisoner’s leg as he walked out the cell’s door.
The prisoner walked up the dungeon’s stairs. The Scottish vampire would not live for much longer and there were stories of a vampire in Africa. He knew the phage had affected him more than just killing the bacteria, it had made him want to hunt down and kill every last vampire on the planet, but he didn’t mind, he considered it his calling.
Swearwords: None.
Description: The tale of a vampire hunter with a difference.
_____________________________________________________________________
The door to the cell opened and the Laird of the castle entered.
“There are only two reasons people break into my castle,” he said to the prisoner. “The first is to kill me, yet you were not carrying any weapons. So I doubt that is the reason.”
“And what is the other?” the prisoner asked.
“Immortality.”
“I did not come looking for immortality, far from it.”
“Do not expect reverse psychology to work on me, I am far older and wiser than you.”
“Perhaps you are or perhaps you are not.”
“You carried no weapons, so why did you break into my castle?”
“Primarily I wanted to speak to you.”
“You wanted to speak to the vampire? So now you have my attention, what is it you wanted to say?”
“I know what causes your affliction.”
“I don’t care about what causes my affliction and I do not think of it as an affliction, I consider it a gift.”
“Does it not interest you? Do you not want to know what ails you?”
“It’s a virus, we know that.”
“No it is not a virus. Viruses are parasites, they cannot avoid being parasites, to reproduce they have to kill the host cell. What infects you is a symbiont, an organism that offers you immortality in return for a place to live. Viruses don’t work like that, well most don’t. But this isn’t a virus.”
“So it’s not a virus. So what?”
“I know its origin,” the prisoner replied.
“And you broke in here to tell me that. To tell me something I’m not interested in. You risked being my next meal for that? And I don’t consider it an affliction.”
The Laird stared at his prisoner and thought he understood. “You wanted me to share my gift with you, didn’t you? You thought I would be grateful for the information and would share my immortality with you.”
The prisoner shook his head. “And it is not reverse psychology. Believe me when I say, I am not interested in sharing your gift, as you call it. It is not a gift, it is an affliction.”
The Laird stared at his prisoner. “You know the deal I made with the government? I get blood delivered weekly, I promise never to leave my castle so as not to be tempted to drink from humans and not to create any more like me. But then I consider anyone who enters my castle unbidden fair game. So tell me why I should not drink your body dry?”
“First, I know that the deal was that you would not kill anyone at all, so I should be safe. Second, as I said, breaking in was the only way I could get to speak to you.”
“And you wanted to tell me what? That vampirism isn’t a virus it’s a what?”
“It’s a genetically engineered bacteria.”
“Now I know you are making this up, vampirism is older than genetic engineering. I am older than genetic engineering.”
“I didn’t explain who did the genetic engineering.”
“And who did? Aliens, I suppose? Or was it time-travellers?”
“Actually aliens did, and I am going to tell you how we know. You know the fossils on Mars?”
“What about them?”
“Well there wasn’t only fossilised material found, there were desiccated biological remains as well and amongst the alien cells were bacteria, the same bacteria that infest you.”
“Are you trying to tell me that ancient Martians were vampires?”
“We don’t believe they came from Mars.”
“So where did they come from?”
“We don’t know, we believe they were hiding on Mars and possibly Earth as well.”
“Hiding from what?”
“The bacteria that keeps you alive has very specific needs, in humans it requires blood, we suspect the same was true of these ancient aliens. They needed to kill in order to survive.”
“And?”
“And those they hunted became the hunters, they tracked them down to our Solar System and killed them. They killed the host organisms and left, but some of the bacteria survived on Earth and adapted to live here amongst, to what was it, alien life.”
“Your story is almost believable, but I do not believe a single word of it.”
“You yourself should know that it doesn’t matter if people believe something or not, if it is true, it is still true.”
The Laird stopped to think. “Even if this fairy story were true, what does it have to do with me?”
“Because I thought you should know. I thought you had the right to know what you are. You are an alien attempt at immortality gone wrong.”
“I know what I am. I am a vampire. I am immortal and I am not gone wrong.” He stared at his prisoner. “At least you didn’t come in here with a crucifix or a wooden stake. I’ll give you that.”
“No I came armed with a greater weapon.”
“If you say you came armed with the truth, then I will have to kill you,” the Laird replied. “But you know, I have not fed the natural way for so long. Stale blood that is no longer fit for donation is not the same as blood fresh from the body. Now I will feed. And I am mindful of my deal with the government, so I won’t kill you, at least not just yet.”
* * *
The prisoner lay weakened in the cell and wondered how long, how long before the vampire would visit again. He hoped it was before he died of hunger or thirst because then he could see.
The answer was two days.
The prisoner smiled as the Laird walked into the room, no longer the healthy and hearty individual of two days ago. “What is happening to me?” the vampire asked.
“In your hurry to feed, you never let me finish my story,” the prisoner said standing up. He put a hand against the cell wall to steady himself.
“So finish your story, before I finish you.”
“You see, I was once a vampire,” the prisoner said, “like you.”
“But you are not? I would have known, all vampires can recognise another instantly.”
“I was briefly infected on Mars, but only briefly, because the alien vampire hunters had a weapon.”
“And what was this weapon?”
“A phage.”
“A what?”
“A phage is a virus that infects bacteria. For three days I craved blood and then I stopped and I returned to normal. When I had become infected, I was also infected by the virus and it cured me, as it is curing you. When you fed on me, you ingested some of the virus as well.”
The Laird stared at the prisoner.
“You knew this would happen?”
“Only if you fed on me. You could have listened to my story and then let me leave. But I knew you would not.”
“And what will happen to me?”
“The virus will kill the symbiont, the same as what happened with me.”
“So why am I dying?”
“Because you should have died two hundred years ago, it is just nature catching up and now I must leave.” The prisoner shoved the vampire to one side.
The Laird tried to stop himself from falling over but he was too weak. “No…” he screamed. He tried to grab the prisoner’s leg as he walked out the cell’s door.
The prisoner walked up the dungeon’s stairs. The Scottish vampire would not live for much longer and there were stories of a vampire in Africa. He knew the phage had affected him more than just killing the bacteria, it had made him want to hunt down and kill every last vampire on the planet, but he didn’t mind, he considered it his calling.
About the Author
Tom Greenwood was born in Bishopbriggs and now lives in Edinburgh with his wife, two daughters and a rabbit. He writes off-the-wall short stories and sci-fi novels. His first novel, A Slight Mistake in the Code, was published by McStorytellers in 2013.