Limpy an’ Shug
by Angus Shoor Caan
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: None.
Description: Theoretically speaking...
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“Wull, A'v seen it aw noo.”
“Whit's rat, Shug?”
“Yoner rer, luk.”
“Three hoodies? Seen rem afore. Mind, rur's usually mair rin three.”
“ 'Sno' whit A mean, Limpy, A mean, it's seevinty oad fuckin' degrees. A mean, who ri fuck wid wear a hood in ris kinna heat? Unless..........?........Naw!”
“C'moan, Shug. A kin sense wan e' yur theories itchin' fur tae come oot?”
“Wull.......naw.....naw it couldnae be, shairly no?”
“Oot wi' it man. Y'uv gote me aw curious noo so ye huv.”
“Three bad haircuts A'm 'hinkin'. A mean, wan A could unnerstaun', two et a pinch bit three? Must be a ham fistit barber. Awa' an' ast rum whair rey gote rur haircuts, Limpy, eh? So's we don't go rer wursels.”
“Aye, so A wull ya choob. Haud oan, haud oan rer a wee meenit. A'm gonnae blaw yur theory right oot ri watter so A'm ur. Yur no' is clivur is ye 'hink, ma man. So yur no'.”
“A'm listenin'”
“Ur ye ready fur ris?”
“Is A'll evur be.”
“Monks.”
“Monks?”
“Aye, monks.”
“Let me get ris right, Limpy. Ye 'hink rem hoods is monk's cowls? Is rat whit y'ur sayin'?”
“A'm fur certain shair, aye.”
“A need tae hear ris. Goan, enlighten me. Pirrit oot rer in laymen's terms if ye cun.”
“ See fur yursel', Shug. Wan e' rum's gote a boatul a' Buckie.”
“Rat disnae prove hee-haw ya bam.”
“Naw, naw, listen. Monks make Buckie. Um A right ur um A right? Dis rat no' make a lote a' sense tae ye?”
“Wull A nivur. Jeezo, Limpy. A'v gote tae haun' it tae ye, ma man. Y'uv hut ri nail right oan ri heid rer so ye huv. Bit here. A wis kinna right masel' whin ye 'hink aboorit.”
“How so, Shug?”
“Wull..........when did ye evur see a monk wi' a daisint haircut?”
“Ha-ha-ha. Fair doos, Aye, fair doos. Wu'll caw rat wan a draw ren, eh? Ur wi' furra pint?”
Swearwords: None.
Description: Theoretically speaking...
____________________________________________________________________
“Wull, A'v seen it aw noo.”
“Whit's rat, Shug?”
“Yoner rer, luk.”
“Three hoodies? Seen rem afore. Mind, rur's usually mair rin three.”
“ 'Sno' whit A mean, Limpy, A mean, it's seevinty oad fuckin' degrees. A mean, who ri fuck wid wear a hood in ris kinna heat? Unless..........?........Naw!”
“C'moan, Shug. A kin sense wan e' yur theories itchin' fur tae come oot?”
“Wull.......naw.....naw it couldnae be, shairly no?”
“Oot wi' it man. Y'uv gote me aw curious noo so ye huv.”
“Three bad haircuts A'm 'hinkin'. A mean, wan A could unnerstaun', two et a pinch bit three? Must be a ham fistit barber. Awa' an' ast rum whair rey gote rur haircuts, Limpy, eh? So's we don't go rer wursels.”
“Aye, so A wull ya choob. Haud oan, haud oan rer a wee meenit. A'm gonnae blaw yur theory right oot ri watter so A'm ur. Yur no' is clivur is ye 'hink, ma man. So yur no'.”
“A'm listenin'”
“Ur ye ready fur ris?”
“Is A'll evur be.”
“Monks.”
“Monks?”
“Aye, monks.”
“Let me get ris right, Limpy. Ye 'hink rem hoods is monk's cowls? Is rat whit y'ur sayin'?”
“A'm fur certain shair, aye.”
“A need tae hear ris. Goan, enlighten me. Pirrit oot rer in laymen's terms if ye cun.”
“ See fur yursel', Shug. Wan e' rum's gote a boatul a' Buckie.”
“Rat disnae prove hee-haw ya bam.”
“Naw, naw, listen. Monks make Buckie. Um A right ur um A right? Dis rat no' make a lote a' sense tae ye?”
“Wull A nivur. Jeezo, Limpy. A'v gote tae haun' it tae ye, ma man. Y'uv hut ri nail right oan ri heid rer so ye huv. Bit here. A wis kinna right masel' whin ye 'hink aboorit.”
“How so, Shug?”
“Wull..........when did ye evur see a monk wi' a daisint haircut?”
“Ha-ha-ha. Fair doos, Aye, fair doos. Wu'll caw rat wan a draw ren, eh? Ur wi' furra pint?”
About the Author
Angus Shoor Caan is in an ex-seaman and rail worker. Born and bred in Saltcoats, he returned to Scotland after many years in England and found the time to begin writing.
Angus is the author of ten novels, two short story collections and four collections of McLimericks. All but three of his books are McStorytellers publications.
You can read his full profile on McVoices.
Angus is the author of ten novels, two short story collections and four collections of McLimericks. All but three of his books are McStorytellers publications.
You can read his full profile on McVoices.