Furst
by Angus Shoor Caan
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: None.
Description: Happy memories...
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How’s yer memory? A mean, we kin a’ remember wur furst kiss, wur furst pair a’ long troosers, furst bike, furst goal we scored against the best goalie et the schill, furst tum wi goat cote pinchin’ aipples, furst tum the polis chapped the door fur ye tae help thum wi thur enquiries.
Remember yer furst joab...... wage? The furst record ye bought? Yer furst pet? The furst tum ye goat a guid doin’ aff a gang a’ sheep thit couldnae possibly function withoot each other? (proven).
Whit aboot yur furst hoalidy withoot the aul’ yins? Furst bevvy....furst real bevvy? Furst ceegarette....joint? Furst girlfriend? Furst shag? Furst gig? Furst motor? Furst tum oan a plane? Furst STD? Furst health scare? (if unrelated). Furst bet? Furst hoose? Furst tum ye feenished the crossword (in ink mind.....no pincil)? Furst tum ye goat a request played oan the wireless? Furst funeral? Furst tum sumbday cawed ye ‘mister’? Furst pubic hair? Furst grey hair? Furst reality check? (if unrelated).
Here’s wan fur ye. A kin remember ma furst dictionary...schill issue. A read that book fae cover tae cover, inside oot, back tae front an’ upside doon. A read it unner the covers wi’ a wee torch thit et batteries lik’ they wur gin oot a’ fashion. Mibbe that’s how a like wurds, mibbe that’s how a still prefer tae consult a wee dictionary despite the mony advances in technology.
Kin ye remember yer furst computer, mobile phone? A stertet writin’ oan a slate an’ guess whit?.........Ah’ve still goat a slate doon the rub-a-dub bit a huvnae goat ma furst dictionary.....mair’s the pity...... If ever thur wis a book thit could chinge yer life......
A miss that wee book so a dae.
Swearwords: None.
Description: Happy memories...
_____________________________________________________________________
How’s yer memory? A mean, we kin a’ remember wur furst kiss, wur furst pair a’ long troosers, furst bike, furst goal we scored against the best goalie et the schill, furst tum wi goat cote pinchin’ aipples, furst tum the polis chapped the door fur ye tae help thum wi thur enquiries.
Remember yer furst joab...... wage? The furst record ye bought? Yer furst pet? The furst tum ye goat a guid doin’ aff a gang a’ sheep thit couldnae possibly function withoot each other? (proven).
Whit aboot yur furst hoalidy withoot the aul’ yins? Furst bevvy....furst real bevvy? Furst ceegarette....joint? Furst girlfriend? Furst shag? Furst gig? Furst motor? Furst tum oan a plane? Furst STD? Furst health scare? (if unrelated). Furst bet? Furst hoose? Furst tum ye feenished the crossword (in ink mind.....no pincil)? Furst tum ye goat a request played oan the wireless? Furst funeral? Furst tum sumbday cawed ye ‘mister’? Furst pubic hair? Furst grey hair? Furst reality check? (if unrelated).
Here’s wan fur ye. A kin remember ma furst dictionary...schill issue. A read that book fae cover tae cover, inside oot, back tae front an’ upside doon. A read it unner the covers wi’ a wee torch thit et batteries lik’ they wur gin oot a’ fashion. Mibbe that’s how a like wurds, mibbe that’s how a still prefer tae consult a wee dictionary despite the mony advances in technology.
Kin ye remember yer furst computer, mobile phone? A stertet writin’ oan a slate an’ guess whit?.........Ah’ve still goat a slate doon the rub-a-dub bit a huvnae goat ma furst dictionary.....mair’s the pity...... If ever thur wis a book thit could chinge yer life......
A miss that wee book so a dae.
About the Author
Angus Shoor Caan is in an ex-seaman and rail worker. Born and bred in Saltcoats, he returned to Scotland after many years in England and found the time to begin writing. He has written a poetry collection and several novels, two of which, The Reader and Violet Hiccup have been published by Black Leaf Publishing.