Four Coanvursation Pieces
by Angus Shoor Caan
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: A couple of mild ones.
Description: Four short conversations (eavesdropped).
_____________________________________________________________________
“Rat's an oad nummer, is it no'?”
“Whit's an oad nummer?”
“Five.”
“Five whit?”
“Jist five. Jist sayin' five's an oad nummer is aw. It's no' an even nummer. Jist makin' an oabsurvation.”
* * * *
“ 'Srat say?”
“Whit's whit say?”
“Rat sign.”
“Whit sign?”
“Rat sign up rer ya blin' bastart.”
“Whit, Oaptician?”
“Zat whirrit says?”
* * * *
“ 'Smatter?”
“Wull, let me see. Whare dae A stert? It's onyhin' rit takes up space, ony object rit hus mass, ony physical objects rit ye kin akshly see.........”
“........Whit, in ri name e' ri wee man ur ye jabberin' oan aboot ataw?”
“Coorse, rat's yur abridged version accordin' tae ri Wickypeeja. A could go oan an' oan an' oan an' oan aboorit if a hud ri time.”
“Yu'v loast mey awrigirra here, so ye huv.”
“Ye ast mey whit wis matter, is rat no' right?”
“Aye, naw, A meant, whit's up?”
“Aw, rat wan's easy. Ri sky. Ri sky's whit's up.”
“Ach. Rur's jist nae talkin' tae ye whin yu'r in ris mood.”
“Wull............naw, A'll no say it. Disnae matter.”
“C'moan. Whit kinna pish wis ye gonnae come oot wi' noo?”
“Jist rit........ A don't mind an' you don't matter.”
* * * *
“Last night ye wur jist a pure loon.”
“A'm ay ri same wi' a fuull moon”
“Ye wur singin' tae hauf a dozen burds.”
“Ach, A kin nivur remember ri words.”
“Aye, an' ye share cannae cairy a tune.”
Swearwords: A couple of mild ones.
Description: Four short conversations (eavesdropped).
_____________________________________________________________________
“Rat's an oad nummer, is it no'?”
“Whit's an oad nummer?”
“Five.”
“Five whit?”
“Jist five. Jist sayin' five's an oad nummer is aw. It's no' an even nummer. Jist makin' an oabsurvation.”
* * * *
“ 'Srat say?”
“Whit's whit say?”
“Rat sign.”
“Whit sign?”
“Rat sign up rer ya blin' bastart.”
“Whit, Oaptician?”
“Zat whirrit says?”
* * * *
“ 'Smatter?”
“Wull, let me see. Whare dae A stert? It's onyhin' rit takes up space, ony object rit hus mass, ony physical objects rit ye kin akshly see.........”
“........Whit, in ri name e' ri wee man ur ye jabberin' oan aboot ataw?”
“Coorse, rat's yur abridged version accordin' tae ri Wickypeeja. A could go oan an' oan an' oan an' oan aboorit if a hud ri time.”
“Yu'v loast mey awrigirra here, so ye huv.”
“Ye ast mey whit wis matter, is rat no' right?”
“Aye, naw, A meant, whit's up?”
“Aw, rat wan's easy. Ri sky. Ri sky's whit's up.”
“Ach. Rur's jist nae talkin' tae ye whin yu'r in ris mood.”
“Wull............naw, A'll no say it. Disnae matter.”
“C'moan. Whit kinna pish wis ye gonnae come oot wi' noo?”
“Jist rit........ A don't mind an' you don't matter.”
* * * *
“Last night ye wur jist a pure loon.”
“A'm ay ri same wi' a fuull moon”
“Ye wur singin' tae hauf a dozen burds.”
“Ach, A kin nivur remember ri words.”
“Aye, an' ye share cannae cairy a tune.”
About the Author
Angus Shoor Caan is in an ex-seaman and rail worker. Born and bred in Saltcoats, he returned to Scotland after many years in England and found the time to begin writing.
Angus is the author of ten novels, two short story collections and five collections of McLimericks. All but three of his books are McStorytellers publications.
You can read his full profile on McVoices.
Angus is the author of ten novels, two short story collections and five collections of McLimericks. All but three of his books are McStorytellers publications.
You can read his full profile on McVoices.