Scribo Ergo Sum
by Alasdair McPherson
Genre: Memoir
Swearwords: None.
Description: Gamesmanship in the over-45's sports club.
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My fellow Olympians are much more competitive than I am: they really want to make a winning score and, some of them, will resort to gamesmanship to gain the advantage. There was one man who would pull away, hand raised in apology, just when you were about to serve at badminton. It was only after it happened a few times that you noticed he did it when you were on a roll.
Another would throw out his arms and shout 'Wide!' to a shuttle that had landed a good six inches inside the court. Then, while I admit that it is easy to lose count of the score as you get older, should your opponent's lapses of memory always result in you losing points you distinctly remember winning – why is the adjustment never in your favour?
I find that I cannot take things all that seriously. I try my best all the time but I do not mind losing, even to the cheats. In particular I can face the loss of a doubles match with equanimity since I can always lay the blame on my partner – strike that out: you know I would never be involved in such ungentlemanly conduct!
It has puzzled me for some time because I am at least as competitive as the next man (I say nothing about the next woman for that is another story). I was never very good at games but, as the contemporaries who know the truth fall by the wayside, my prowess is improving. Another ten years, I reckon, and I will have been just short of national class – only the records could contradict me and who reads them?
I have concluded that it is writing this sort of drivel that keeps me, so to say, inoculated against sporting competitiveness. Every action of my opponents, partners, spectators and stray by-standers is noted. In due course I aggregate my impressions, exaggerate them and present them to you. I live through my writing.
I am happy when the results are published, I do not deny, but the true satisfaction comes in the writing. These short stories are akin to a musician practising scales – I can develop themes or characters without the slog of plotting and development that is required for the concert performance that is a novel.
I scribble first, in longhand, then transfer it to computer, printing a copy after I have put it through a spell-check. I don't know about you, but the 't' and the 'y' seem to move about on my keyboard. I then leave the piece fallow for days or even weeks letting stray phrases and telling expressions filter through my mind while cooking or dog-walking. When I feel ready, I polish the draft and let people read it.
I do truly hope that you enjoy reading this but the main purpose has been served in the act of writing it. As I say, I am a good loser: of course, you might consider before you play the winning smash against me, that you might soon be pilloried in a vicious satire on your character!
My corpore is thoroughly sana because my mens is happily sano.
Swearwords: None.
Description: Gamesmanship in the over-45's sports club.
_____________________________________________________________________
My fellow Olympians are much more competitive than I am: they really want to make a winning score and, some of them, will resort to gamesmanship to gain the advantage. There was one man who would pull away, hand raised in apology, just when you were about to serve at badminton. It was only after it happened a few times that you noticed he did it when you were on a roll.
Another would throw out his arms and shout 'Wide!' to a shuttle that had landed a good six inches inside the court. Then, while I admit that it is easy to lose count of the score as you get older, should your opponent's lapses of memory always result in you losing points you distinctly remember winning – why is the adjustment never in your favour?
I find that I cannot take things all that seriously. I try my best all the time but I do not mind losing, even to the cheats. In particular I can face the loss of a doubles match with equanimity since I can always lay the blame on my partner – strike that out: you know I would never be involved in such ungentlemanly conduct!
It has puzzled me for some time because I am at least as competitive as the next man (I say nothing about the next woman for that is another story). I was never very good at games but, as the contemporaries who know the truth fall by the wayside, my prowess is improving. Another ten years, I reckon, and I will have been just short of national class – only the records could contradict me and who reads them?
I have concluded that it is writing this sort of drivel that keeps me, so to say, inoculated against sporting competitiveness. Every action of my opponents, partners, spectators and stray by-standers is noted. In due course I aggregate my impressions, exaggerate them and present them to you. I live through my writing.
I am happy when the results are published, I do not deny, but the true satisfaction comes in the writing. These short stories are akin to a musician practising scales – I can develop themes or characters without the slog of plotting and development that is required for the concert performance that is a novel.
I scribble first, in longhand, then transfer it to computer, printing a copy after I have put it through a spell-check. I don't know about you, but the 't' and the 'y' seem to move about on my keyboard. I then leave the piece fallow for days or even weeks letting stray phrases and telling expressions filter through my mind while cooking or dog-walking. When I feel ready, I polish the draft and let people read it.
I do truly hope that you enjoy reading this but the main purpose has been served in the act of writing it. As I say, I am a good loser: of course, you might consider before you play the winning smash against me, that you might soon be pilloried in a vicious satire on your character!
My corpore is thoroughly sana because my mens is happily sano.
About the Author
Originally from Dalmuir, Alasdair McPherson is now retired and living in exile in Lincolnshire.
He says he has always wanted to write, but life got in the way until recently. He has already penned two novels and is now trying his hand at short stories.
He says he has always wanted to write, but life got in the way until recently. He has already penned two novels and is now trying his hand at short stories.