Questionnaire Appearing at the End of a Book
by Michael C. Keith
Genre: Humour
Swearwords: None.
Description: Soliciting readers’ input can be a risky business.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear Reader, please check (√) the statement that most closely reflects your feelings about this novel.
___ It excited me the way only frozen fish sticks do.
___ It captivated me from the first page to the second.
___ It made me wonder how some people get published.
___ It disgusted me but I couldn’t put it down.
___ It added to my understanding of the cosmos.
___ It drove me to purchase a giant flat screen TV.
___ It was well worth the two minutes I spent reading it.
___ It should be what all books aspire to become.
___ It increased my sense that bowling is a better pastime.
___ It gave me moments of sheer erotic release.
___ It caused me to want to put arsenic in the author’s coffee.
___ It made Finnegans Wake read like Fun with Dick and Jane.
___ It made me weep for the sacrifice of trees.
___ It inspired me to renew my subscription to Tan Magazine.
___ It prompted me to call 911 and report a fraud.
___ It made me wonder about the mental state of the author.
___ It raised my hope of getting into the Iowa Writer’s Workshop.
___ All of the above.
(Please rewrite this questionnaire in the form of a Haiku poem for submissions to The Poetaster Review.)
Swearwords: None.
Description: Soliciting readers’ input can be a risky business.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear Reader, please check (√) the statement that most closely reflects your feelings about this novel.
___ It excited me the way only frozen fish sticks do.
___ It captivated me from the first page to the second.
___ It made me wonder how some people get published.
___ It disgusted me but I couldn’t put it down.
___ It added to my understanding of the cosmos.
___ It drove me to purchase a giant flat screen TV.
___ It was well worth the two minutes I spent reading it.
___ It should be what all books aspire to become.
___ It increased my sense that bowling is a better pastime.
___ It gave me moments of sheer erotic release.
___ It caused me to want to put arsenic in the author’s coffee.
___ It made Finnegans Wake read like Fun with Dick and Jane.
___ It made me weep for the sacrifice of trees.
___ It inspired me to renew my subscription to Tan Magazine.
___ It prompted me to call 911 and report a fraud.
___ It made me wonder about the mental state of the author.
___ It raised my hope of getting into the Iowa Writer’s Workshop.
___ All of the above.
(Please rewrite this questionnaire in the form of a Haiku poem for submissions to The Poetaster Review.)
About the Author
Originally from Albany, New York, Michael C. Keith has paternal family roots stretching back to Clan Keith of Caithness and Aberdeenshire. A leading scholar in electronic media in the United States, he is the author of over 20 books on electronic media, as well as a memoir and three books of fiction. Much more about Michael and his publications can be found on his website: http://www.michaelckeith.com